Man’s Parents Pressuring Him to Raise Dead Sister’s Kids
Reddit is coming to the defense of a man who is grappling with the difficult decision of whether or not to raise his dead sister’s children.
The man explained his sister “suddenly” passed away in a car accident and left two children behind, ages 7 and 10.
The children’s father allegedly “has been mostly absent” from their lives for the past five years.
“He’s not abusive or anything, he just wasn’t really interested in being a dad, and would see them maybe once every few months. My sister raised them completely on her own, and I’ve always been pretty close to them, helping out when I could,” the man wrote via Reddit.
Since the man’s sister’s death, her children’s father has “stepped up” to raise them, but he isn’t the “most attentive parent.”
“My niece and nephew have been calling me a lot, complaining about how they miss their mom and how their dad is just not the same. They’ve been begging me to let them come live with me instead,” the man shared.
“To make matters worse, my parents (late 50s) are completely heartbroken and have started to pressure me into taking the kids in, saying that it’s my responsibility as their uncle to provide a loving, stable environment for them since their dad clearly isn’t doing a good job,” he continued.
The man isn’t keen on the idea of raising two young children on his own.
“I love my niece and nephew, but I’m a single guy with a demanding job and I’ve never really seen myself as a parent. I’m also currently dealing with my own grief over losing my sister. The thought of taking on the responsibility of raising two kids is incredibly daunting. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to give them the attention and support they need, and I worry that I would be doing them a disservice by agreeing to take them in,” he shared.
He’s been telling his parents he’s not the best option to care for their kids, and has been encouraging his niece and nephew to “give their dad a chance.”
“I’ve been talking to their dad too, trying to get him more involved and attentive. My parents are furious with me, saying that I’m being selfish and abandoning my sister’s children in their time of need. I’m starting to feel like a total ass for not stepping up, but I just don’t know if I can handle it,” he concluded.
Users in the comments tried to comfort the man, with many suggesting he shouldn’t be made responsible to raise his niece and nephew if he’s not comfortable with it.
“Someone who already knows they don’t want to be a parent, and then taking two children on when dealing with their own grief is an extremely hard situation… and probably wouldn’t be in the best interests of the kids either. They should give their dad a chance and if your parents don’t agree then they can take them in. You can go help when you can but in all reality it’s time for their father to step up and be a man. I’m sorry for your loss,” one person wrote.
“Given what you said, who’s to say you’d do a better job than their father? Why aren’t your parents stepping up to the plate if they think the kids’ father is doing such a bad job? Seems like everyone involved is grieving, and people don’t always think rationally during grief,” someone else commented.
“Why are your parents not an option? Late 50s is not old and their grandchildren are more their responsibility than they are yours,” another weighed in.
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