Woman Refuses to Meet Up With High School Bully

A woman on Reddit shared that her brutal high school bully won’t stop trying to befriend her out of guilt. The woman, who was “quite chubby” and had a “bit of a stutter” in high school, says she was “severely bullied” by a man who keeps asking her to meet up.

“In my junior year, a boy in my grade joined in on the bullying (let’s call him Jake). He was so much worse than everyone else. He used to follow me on my walk home and pour things on me, push me into bushes or into oncoming traffic, etc. He once pushed me into a lake when we were on a school trip when he found out I couldn’t swim. I could go on and on about the things he did to me but we would be here all day,” she wrote via Reddit.

Content warning: Mention of suicide, below.

The bullying got so bad that it nearly drove her to suicide. “After one particular incident where he made fun of me for my appearance, I really couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t the worst thing he did but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I tried to commit suicide with sleeping pills but my uncle found me and took me to the hospital,” she recalled.

After her suicide attempt, she was in a “coma for 11 days” and was home-schooled for the rest of her high school years, after which she moved away from her hometown.

However, when she recently returned for a family wedding, she ran into her bully at a local bar. “I didn’t recognize him at first but [my friend] told me it was him. I felt kind of anxious but decided to pretend like he wasn’t there,” she detailed, adding that her former bully approached her to say “hi” but left shortly after.

Not long after, she received an email from him “that was quite long.”

“He apologized for everything he did and said he’s mortified he was even that kind of person. He said it’s been haunting him since he heard of my attempt and he’s deeply sorry,” the woman noted, adding she told him it was “alright” and that she “didn’t want to hold on to hate and resentment from high school.”

Days later, she ran into him again in town and he asked if they could talk.

“We went outside and he asked if we could go for dinner as friends and catch up. I said sorry but I would really rather not. He asked why I can’t go for dinner if I’ve apparently forgiven him. I said forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to engage or be friends with him, and I simply don’t want to be friends,” she detailed, explaining that she didn’t want to be reminded of her tough high school years.

He reached back out to her, saying that “he can’t bring himself to forgive himself if he doesn’t feel like I have, and that me refusing to even have dinner with him makes him feel like I haven’t forgiven him and the guilt is eating him up.” Still, she refused.

“I told my parents of this whole thing and they said I’m being too harsh on him and that I should do what I can to make him forgive himself because no one deserves to live with guilt. They said one dinner is nothing and I should just suck it up and go. I said no and kind of got angry at them,” the woman concluded.

Users in the comments section offered encouraging words to the woman, letting her know that she doesn’t owe her bully anything.

“You (and let’s not forget, he) made an attempt on your life, how could your parents tell you to just suck it up?!? You are 100% in the right. Forgiveness does not mean friendship and if he’s too stupid to understand that, that’s on him. Every word and step you have taken are completely spot on,” one person wrote.

“It sounds to me that he’s still bullying you. Bullying is all about power. Unlike you, he obviously hasn’t grown as a human being. I think you have behaved impeccably. What will he ask for next to ‘prove’ you forgive him? Something else you don’t want to do or makes you feel uncomfortable? No, you’ve done brilliantly. Well done,” another commented.

“Let me get this straight, he bullied you in the most horrific manners. Which includes but not limited to, verbal abuse, he tried to shove you into traffic, tried to throw you in the lake when he found out you couldn’t swim, and almost caused you to go to the great beyond by your own hand, and you’re supposed to care about how guilty he feels?” someone else weighed in.