In-Laws Demand Mom Bring Newborn to Destination Wedding

From distance to travel expenses, destination weddings can sometimes be difficult for guests to attend. One mom is frustrated after finding out her in-laws expect her to bring her “high needs” newborn to a destination wedding that includes “extreme hiking and camping.”

Sharing her situation on parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman explained the wedding “involves a trip not very suitable for a baby,” including “extreme hiking and camping.”

“My in-laws are very outdoorsy and see no issue with bringing a baby along, but everyone else I’ve spoken to, including other members of [husband’s] family has said it’s not a great trip for a baby. I think that [husband’s] parents will be very upset and hurt if we don’t go with the baby and my [husband] goes alone,” she wrote via Mumsnet.

She detailed that since her in-laws live on a different continent they don’t get to see the baby, who is 5 months old, often, but they have met the child “a few times.”

“My in-laws are generally lovely. However, they are difficult when it comes to judging us based on parenting choices that they do not understand because advice differs from when they had their own children 30+ years ago,” she continued.

The mom noted she’s “concerned” that if she and the baby go on the trip, her in-laws will “push” them to do things she is “not comfortable” with, and will make judgmental comments if she refuses.

While the woman’s husband is fine with “sticking up to them,” her in-laws only tend to address their parenting concerns to her, something she finds a “bit sexist.”

“My 2 concerns are the financial costs and the difficulties in disagreements in parenting as described above, on a trip that is not suitable for an infant. I’m worried that if we don’t all go, they will be very upset and it will damage our relationship. They will simply not understand why we don’t feel the trip is suitable for a baby even if we try to explain,” she wrote, asking Mumsnet users what she should do.

In the comments section, users rallied behind the woman, suggesting she should follow her gut to make decisions that are best for her and the baby.

“No matter what you do, someone will be unhappy so I would do what you feel is right and say ‘[husband’s] coming. It’s our decision, we thought long and hard but it’s not something that’s right for [our baby] at the moment (he’s not a good traveler due to his health).’ I wouldn’t engage with any pressure or arguments about how you are wrong, etc., just repeat that it’s your decision as [the baby’s] parents not theirs and the matter is closed,” one person wrote.

“I wouldn’t go, by the sounds of it you won’t enjoy it and it’s an expense that won’t be worth it. 10 hours on a plane for a 5 month old would be a lot! [Husband] needs to step up, I’d have an honest conversation about your concerns and if you decide not to go, he should be the one to tell his family and to phrase it in a way that shows it was a united decision,” someone else commented.