What – and I cannot stress this enough – are those?

In what could be the most outlandish collaboration of all time, adidas has joined forces with Estonian rapper TOMM¥ €A$H to create a metre-long Superstar sneaker. “When I said to adidas that I want to make the longest shoe in the world as our collab they were like wtf Tommy. But five months later here we are,” he revealed on Instagram yesterday. 

Now, if we’re talking COVID restrictions, these sneakers have surely got every social distancing regulation covered. Unfortunately though, us peasants will have to continue to rub up against each other as this gargantuan pair is a one-off, made solely for Cash. The real collab, which drops tomorrow (March 3), is a pair of Superstars consisting of one black and one white shoe, which, tbh, is still quite berserk. 

For Cash, the contrasting colourway embodies the “angel and devil” that live within him. “The two opposites that are constantly fighting with each other, why hide one side of your personality when they can perfectly coexist with each other,” he says. “After all, they reflect my mood, which changes every day. And I will proudly wear both versions of the iconic silhouette at the same time.”

The limited edition (regular length) Superstars are available for purchase through the adidas app, although you’ve got to sign up to the raffle to be in with a chance. Winners will be announced on March 3, with those lucky enough to get picked able to snap up a pair for 8,399 rubles or 80 British pounds.

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