It’s that time again. Time to disinfect every bottle of disinfectant carried over the threshold and into your home, time to feel deeply existential about your weekly screen time report, time to agonise over whether you can realistically get a dog without your landlord ever laying eyes on it. In other words, it’s time for another government-mandated stretch of self-isolation – four long weeks of it, in fact. 

But while we might now be battening down the hatches ahead of a month of alone time, when it comes to loquedowné: the sequel, we’re determined to do it differently. What does this mean, exactly? To start with, we’ll be stepping away from that scuzzy, stretched-out tee and peeling off the nine-day-old joggers we hashtagged #wfhlooks on the first day ‘cos they looked cute with our Prada headbands but went on to tell a very different story. This time, we’re dressing up – and where better to look for a little lockdown inspiration than the runways of yesteryear? 

Now, fashion isn’t typically known for its close personal relationship with the concept of comfort. As Anna Dello Russo said in her H&M “Fashion Shower” video – the most profound fashion film ever made imo – “fashion is never comfortable; if you feel comfortable you never get the look!” But we’re here to refute that claim. Yes, we’re here to show you that style and slouch, couture and cosy, can indeed be bedfellows – literally. 

Whether it’s Vaquera’s dressing-gown-ball-gowns from SS18, Viktor & Rolf’s AW05 model who wouldn’t get out of bed for less than $10,000, or Prada’s SS17 marabou trimmed pyjamas, evidence suggests that Ms. Russo was wrong. And so, with that in mind, we’ve put together the ultimate catwalk guide to dressing up for staying in. 

MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA’S ICONIC DUVET COAT (AW99)

Nothing says day to night as literally as this iconic duvet coat. It’s literally made of a duvet… but it’s a coat! And as ever with the legend that is Martin, what we have here is the ultimate in practical luxury: roll from bed to the lounge to the kitchen to the toilet without ever revealing a stitch of skin to the cold, cold world. No need for a duvet cover either – one less piece of washing to do every two months, amirite ladies?

VAQUERA’S DRESSING GOWN/BALLGOWN HYBRID (SS18)

Once upon a time dressing gown rhymed with dressing down. But not in Vaquera’s world. No, this is the ultimate in stay-at-home ballgown glamour. Two birds, one very chic towelling stone. 

VICTOR AND ROLF’S BED LOOK (AW05)

Bring the bed with you everywhere you go in this convenient, low-key look. The ultimate slanket for the Instagram generation, this has sleeves, pillows, and a truly gorgeous sateen duvet cover in royal ruby red. And while you might be fooled into thinking you can make your own by just, I dunno, taking a chunky belt and wrapping it around your duvet, but I just tried it in the name of journalism and it’s just too restrictive.

See this look is not only chic and perfectly executed, but practical too – hands available to Google whether or not the Desperate Housewives got on in real life or not (spoiler: they didn’t), arms free to do that no-equipment-needed YouTube arm workout, and bare shoulders to catch those rays of seldom-seen winter sun, all wrapped up with a thigh-high split for cosplaying as Angelina on the red carpet that time when ten straight hours of Netflix has gotten just a little bit too much.

VETEMENTS’ JUICY COUTURE REVIVAL (SS17)

It’s time to remind everyone that your ass is juicy. Your body is juicy. Your heart and soul is juicy. Here is where style and comfort collide in an explosion of velour, kicky colours, and sheer luxurious comfort. Honest to god I’ve tried it, and if memory serves there’s nothing quite as comfortable yet sensual as the slow syncopation of your heartbeat to the pace of your fingers gently stroking the poor man’s velvet. And while Vetements’ SS17 collab with the label may be the most coveted Juicy of all, those OG lime green and Pepto Bismol pink numbers favoured by J.Lo et al simply cannot be disregarded. Whichever route you choose to travel, just make sure you choose Juicy!

Y/PROJECT’S THIGH-HIGH UGGS (AW18)

Why go ankle deep when you can go thigh deep? If lockdown one was about dipping a toe back into the sheepskin-lined waters of Ms. UGG, then lockdown two is about dipping a whole leg. Just imagine this: you slide out of bed like the greasy reptile you are but, alas, there’s a chill in the air cos your anal af flatmate turned off the heating at 2am again. Before you stalk past their room and to the kitchen to loudly turn the thermostat right back up to the top, you slide your scaly leg deep into the recess of a Y/Project UGG boot, feeling the gentle caress of style and substance smother your icy reptilian limbs, and decide maybe the thermostat doesn’t need a boost after all. Mother Earth will thank you for it. 

BALENCIAGA’S XXXTREME LAYERED JACKET (AW18)

Now, this is truly a must have, and of course it’s a total bargain at, like, £8,000 – which, in case maths isn’t your strong suit, works out at just over a grand a layer (c’mon self-employment grant!) But this is an ingenious item because it reflects your lockdown 2.0 vision board: to become someone whomst is layered. Gone are the days of superficially showing skin on Zoom calls to all your coupled friends, now it’s time to layer up – you’re in a cocoon and when this is all over you’ll come out a gorj Balenciaga butterfly. 

RAF SIMONS’ FELTED WOOL APRON (AW11)

You’re baking again. You never thought you would. But you’re baking again. You chucked your sourdough starter away back in August, and rejoiced as you watched that sloppy bacteria queen blob away into the abyss. But here you are: you’re having another baby, and she looks like cottage cheese and smells like vinegar. And so you’re baking again. But that’s okay. Honestly it’s okay, as long as you’re wearing THIS Raf Simons apron because doing anything in Raf Simons honestly makes it chic. Banana bread. Not chic. Banana bread wearing Raf Simons? Chic.

COMME DES GARÇONS’ SOFT KNOTTED COCOON (AW15)

Much like the duvets mentioned before but cuter, Rei’s wrapped-up look is a distant relative of Martin’s, but like that which came before, offers the same soft comfort – albeit with less room for mobility owing to its distinct lack of arm holes. Granted, it may make working from home a slightly difficult affair and rousing yourself from your bed a nigh on impossible task – but if ever there was a time to call your manager and demand an extra day off or fight for your goddamn right to a four day week (“But John, it’ll make me a more productive staff member, I swear!”)… then surely that time is now?

MIUCCIA PRADA’S FEATHER TRIM PYJAMAS (SS17)

Many will be back on endless Zoom calls wondering why the fuck their bluetooth headphones won’t fucking connect and how others still deem it appropriate not to mute themselves as their housemates slam around the cupboards behind them in search of the Cornflakes circa lockdown part two. This time around, however, instead of a comfy cardi and varying levels of nudity from the waist down, nothing says put together – even when things around you are anything but – than these marabou-finished silk PJs. Now you can truly WORK! from home.